On the Family and Community

In the West and now most of the world, the standard family setup is that the parents and kids live in the same house, and that’s it. This is the nuclear family, and it may seem pretty instinctual or “natural”. Yet for most of human history, and across many cultures, family structure took many different forms.

Take the structure of the Iroquois. Within a clan, extended families (20-90 people) would live together in a single longhouse. This setup allowed for a closer connection between children and their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. It also put less stress on just the parents for upbringing, as older cousins could always watch over younger ones, or grandparents who may not be able to contribute as much physically could contribute meaningfully through interacting with the kids.

Even the setup of everyone living in proximity in one big house had its benefits, as people who hoard resources would be right next to the people they are hoarding from, and thus be easily and rightfully scrutinized.

This is not to say the nuclear family is inherently bad, only that there are many more ways of organizing the family that the world ought to accommodate better. The nuclear family is somewhat failing in the modern day, though this is more a result of financial pressures requiring both parents to work and of the high cost of childcare (in the US). Again, if you want to fix this, grandparents notoriously have very little to do all day and could watch over children well.

Beyond the family, the loss of third spaces and community life is a major issue. The US should enact New Deal-style legislation to redesign American communities aiming towards social cohesion. Some of the possible reforms to be enacted include:

1. Decrease the dependence on cars. This is hard as suburbia is basically built around cars, but it could be done gradually through moving away from personal car use. Bikes, buses, or long-term electric scooter or motorcycle use are all better alternatives, even if none are perfect.
2. Clean up and greenify America. These go hand in hand and would involve a reset of American green space. Instead of flat, simple grass that contributes nothing biologically and even “requires” mowing every two weeks, biodiverse landscapes should be encouraged. This would mean planting a mix of local vegetation. This contributes to the land’s biodiversity, allowing local animals to interact with it, looks pretty, and would not require constant care. In addition, some of the plants could be local fruits or vegetables, providing a quick snack.
3. The country should also invest in all-encompasing third spaces for teenagers. When looking at older movies such as Dazed and Confused, the many avaliable, relatively inexpensive communal spots that encouraged pool halls, arcades, diners, even just general lit up areas with seating. This is not to say that there is nothing for teens to do, but more that there is no place for teens to organically and collectively hang out without being survielled, monetized, or pushed out for loitering. When I imagine one of these spaces, it would consist of, say, a skatepark next to an indoor section with games (poker, pool, maybe video games), places to watch movies, places to talk, and places to buy snacks. It’s important to me that teenagers, who are at their most freely expressive in their lives due to youth and time, do not spend all their time alone in their rooms. Also, lower the drinking age to 18, 21 is ridiculous and pointless, although it should be made more clear just how harmful alcohol is.
4. Encourage adventure playgrounds. Adventure playgrounds are playgrounds where the structure is less set in stone, and kids can even use tools to build it as they go. The point is to allow the kids independence and creativity. This might seem dangerous, but their nature promotes restraint, whereas the constricting, limited nature of traditional playgrounds often leads kids to push the boundaries, in turn hurting themselves.
5. Put up string lights in urban areas. String lights reduce crime by reducing darkness and creating a warm, inviting atmosphere. Similar small chnages could be made to